Feb 15, 1994    Barbados - Grenada howler (Huw Morris)
Oct 12, 1994    Mick O'Brien (Garry Archer, Gary Spain)
Sep  7, 1995    Higuita (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Feb 19, 1996    Wrong time for an own goal (Stig Oppedal)
Dec 11, 1997	Gothenburg goal v Bayern München (Markian Jaworsky)
Mar 31, 1998	Dean Saunders goal v Port Vale (Stephen Davies)
Apr 14, 1998	Carsten Jancker goal v 1860 München (Bruce Scott)
Apr 17, 1998 	Burgos v Chilavert (Ariel Mazzarelli)

From: hm@rlssp1..bnsc.rl.ac.uk (Huw Morris)
Subject: Barbados - Grenada howler
Date: 15 Feb 1994 17:35:55 GMT

I'd like to share with you a little gem I heard on the radio last night. It
concerns a match played last weekend between Barbados and Grenada in some
cup competition. Barbados needed to win the game by two clear goals in order
to progress to the next round. Now the trouble was caused by a daft rule in
the competition which stated that in the event of a game going to penalty
kicks, the winner would be awarded a 2-0 victory. (Yes, I'm sure you can all
see what's coming....)

With 5 minutes to go, Barbados were leading 2-1, and going out of the
tournament. Then, when they realised they were probably not going to score
against Grenada's massed defence, they turned round, and deliberately
scored an own goal, to level the scores. Grenada, themselves not being
stupid, realised what was going on, and then attempted to score an own
goal themselves. However, the Barbados players started defending their
opponents goal to prevent this. In the last five minutes, therefore,
spectators were treated to the incredible sight of a team defending their
opponents goal against attackers desperately trying to score an own goal!

Naturally, the game went to penalties, which Barbados won...

This story is completely true, I assure you. Apparently it was being televised
live, so I hope to see highlights of it soon!

From: gspain@nl.oracle.com (Gary Spain)
Subject: Re: Football Comedy Moments
Date: Wed, 12 Oct 1994 09:34:03 GMT

Garry Archer writes:

> I saw this one on the old Saturday lunchtime show, "On The Ball" in England
> back in the '70s, so forgive the hazy details:
> "On The Ball" showed highlights from a match in Ireland where one team was
> so dominant that it seemed the entire game was being played in one half of
> the pitch.  In the empty half of the pitch, the goalkeeper was totally
> bored and sought to amuse himself.  Occasionally the camera would pan to
> his goal and catch him swinging off his crossbar, "monkeying" around.
> Another time the camera pans back and there is the 'keeper _sitting_ on
> the top of his crossbar, right in the middle of the goal!  Not long after
> this, there is a tremendous crashing sound and the camera swings back...
> the crossbar had snapped and the goal had collapsed!  The 'keeper was in a
> heap on top of the woodwork and nets.  The referee comes running back up the
> pitch and... red card!!!   It was hilarious!  The camera showed the 'keeper
> walking off the pitch while everyone else was looking dumbounded at the goal.
> Magic moments!

Garry, I remember it well.  The keeper in question was Mick O'Brien of
Athlone Town and it happened at St. Mels Park around 1975.  I think
the opposition were St Patricks Atletic.  He did indeed get a red card
and the crossbar was repaired.  The game carried on.  I remember being
at a Limerick game that day and hearing about it on the radio.  Everybody
was in fits of laughter.  Mick was a real character and a total clown.

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Higuita :)
Date: Sep 7, 1995

Just saw the save that Higuita made against England@wembley.

Some English guy takes the ball 25 meters out,  looks up and kicks it right to
the middle of the goal.  Higuita takes two steps back,  with a look on his
face that says "yeah right".  Then as the ball drops,  he dives forward,
executes a nice butterfly kick and strikes the ball in midair  with his heels,
all the way out to the semicircle.

Now there is a man that likes to give the fans something for the price of

From: Stig Oppedal
Subject: Wrong Time For An Own Goal
Date: Feb 19, 1996
[FA Cup: Shrewsbury Town 0, Liverpool 4]

If a player simply _has_ to score an own goal (and some players do), then some
moments are better than others:

- when you're 4-0 down: if you score an own goal than you can just grumble
afterwards "typical of our bad luck", "just one of those days", etc.

- in a typical end-of-season mid-table clash: nobody gives a damn, and if it's
sufficeintly stunning you might even be awarded the "Man of The Match"

The time for an own goal is _not_, however, when you play for Anonymous Town
and you're 1-0 down against Liverpool in the 4th Round of the FA Cup, the
most exciting thing to happen there since the Romans founded the place in 66

A cross drifted over the penalty box from the left, and Collymore knocked
it back across the 6-yard box. This would have been dangerous had a teammate
of his been there, but they were apparently all off celebrating that no lower
divison sides beginning with the letter "B" were left in the Cup. Instead, the
6-yard box was crowded with the Anonymous keeper and five - count 'em, FIVE -
defenders. One of them decided to thump the ball into the net.

His immediate reaction was to turn around in exasperation and indicate that he
"was under pressure" and "had no choice", but upon seeing all the Liverpool
players giving each others High Fives practically in their own half, this
strategem quickly evaporated - along with Anonynous Town's chances of an

Should've saved it for the end-of-season mid-table clash against Boring

From: Stig Oppedal
Subject: Re: Wrong Time For An Own Goal
Date: Feb 20, 1996

Come to think of it, an even worse time to score an own goal is when you
play for Anonymous Rovers and you're _leading_ 1-0 against Liverpool in the
FA Cup - and there are 10 seconds of the game left. The corner came in from
the right, the ball barely missed the head of Ian Rush and landed on the
foot of a startled and soon to be utterly dejected Rovers defender and
rolled into the net. I remember thinking when the TV-camera focused on his
watery eyes and drooping mustache: "Imagine ruining the only chance of
football glory this team is going to experience for the next 50 odd years."

Of course, only half a year later Jack Walker started pouring money into the
team, and five years later they won the league (no players with mustaches

Subject: Re: Gothenburg goal against Bayern München
Date: 11 Dec 1997 11:46:51 GMT
From: jaworsky@yallara.cs.rmit.edu.au (Markian Jaworsky)

Babbel cooly has control of the ball.  Knowing full well noone is in the
near vicinty, he looks up at his goalkeeper.  Goalie is free, and
Babbel trusts his instinct and goes for the backpass.  Like a lazer
beam accuracy, the pass is pin perfect.  The ball rolls along the pitch
smoothly and softly to the foot of the keeper.

Goalkeeper, with IFK attackers no where in sight, has time to think.
No need to play the first touch, rather control the ball and then
explore all options.  Keeper thinks about his style of control,
just let the ball hit the foot?  Potentially that ball could
rebound away a slightly uncomfortable distance, or raise the foot
and bring the foot down as the ball arrives to stop it completely.
The ideal situation.  Yes, professionalism is all about that
time players spend evaluating each situation.  Choosing the best

But wait!  Oh shit, took too long to think, ball rolls under the
foot and over the line...

Subject: Golazo of the week
Date: Tue, 31 Mar 1998 20:21:08 -0800
From: steve d (stephen.davies@bbsrc.ac.uk)

Sheff Utd vs Port Vale on Saturday in the English Div 1. To put the goal
in context, Sheff Utd are presently occupying one of the four play-off
positions for entry to the Premier League and Port Vale are struggling
against relegation so the game was of importance to both sides.

The score is 1-0 to Sheff Utd in the 90th minute. Port Vale are
attacking. The ball in intercepted and lofted down the left wing. Dean
Saunders sprints after it and then checks as it appears that the ball
will run into touch level with the penalty box.

The Port Vale goalie thinks the same will happen so starts to run across
to the left to get the ball into play quickly. However the pass has
enough spin to slow the ball down and bring it to a stop inside the
field of play. Saunders realises this and starts sprinting again. The
goalkeeper just gets to the ball first and slides it into touch gets up
and turns to run back to his goal.

The ball rebounds off an advertising board and Saunders gathers the
ball. He quickly looks around and realises he is the only Sheff Utd
player for 40 metres so he takes a quick throw-in onto the goalkeepers
back, collects the rebound and curls the ball around the goalkeeper from
the touchline to score. 2-0.

Cheekiest goal I've seen in a long time. Port Vale then scored almost
directly from kick-off to leave the final score 2-1 so the goal turned
out to be important.

Subject: Re: Golazo of the Week
Date: 14 Apr 1998 13:26:49 +0200
From: bds@rzg.mpg.de (Bruce Scott TOK)

And now for the anti-golazo of the week...

Bayern vs 1860, the Munich derby.  Bayern are up 1-0 on a nice diagonal
cross by Michael Tarnat from the right side just beyond the corner of
the box, which is chested down by Mehmet Scholl about 10 m away
diagonally from the goalpost opposite to Tarnat.  First bounce, low
strike which near-posted the goalie.

But that wasn't the anti-gem :-) At about 40' another Bayern attack had
ended with the ball safely in the arms of the 1860 keeper.  This
gentleman thought to throw the ball out to a wing defender, but that guy
was too closely marked.  The keeper stopped his throw, hesitated a bit,
and then flipped the ball onto the ground to get ready to kick it
upfield.  All this time Carsten Jancker of Bayern had been waiting in
the right-hand blind spot of the keeper, near the end of the 5 m area on
the goal line.  As the ball was flipped down, Jancker raced up from
behind to tap it away from the horrified keeper, who sprawled out trying
to get the ball without fouling.  Jancker got the ball away and must
have touched it 5 times setting up his little roller along the ground to
the center of the back of the net.  Second funniest goal in Munich (the
funniest was of course the Babbel-Kahn two-man own goal against
Goteborg), it was essentially the decision.

Thanking their crosstown rivals for such an Easter gift, Bayern are now
thick in the hunt for the title.

Subject: Re: [R/Report] Israel - Argentina, friendly
Date: 17 Apr 1998 01:51:00 -0700
From: mazzare@primenet.erase2mail.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)

Michael Medved (medya@netvision.net.il) dixit:
[snip most of a good report]

>And finally, giving a needed credit to the
>extraordinary beauty of Ravivo's goal, a huge question is left near the acti-
>vities of Herman Burgos around this ball -- how can a keeper of such a class
>in such a top National team make such an awful blunder? Nobody has an answer.

Well, you see, you don't know Burgos (spelled German, btw). He has given up
enough pathetic goals to fill the careers of several goalkeepers. I will
simply mention two famous lapses against Chilavert. The first one took
place during the local championship when Velez was playing River, and
there was a foul against a Velez player in the midfield, five to ten meters
behind the central line on the Velez side of the field. While the players
and the referee debated the issue and the usual bit of theater was taking
place, Chilavert sprinted like a madman from his goal and kicked the
stationary ball over 60 meters in the direction of River's goal, where a
canonically hapless Burgos bactracked in ascending desperation that led
to a resigned backflop as the ball sailed under the crossbar.

Some players might have quietly hung up their boots after such a scene,
but Burgos plowed on and a few weeks later Passarella repeated his typical,
unforgivable mistake of putting Burgos in the goal in a serious match.
In fact, the match was in Buenos Aires against Paraguay and it was a
WC qualifier. Argentina is leading 1-0 in a tough game thanks to a brilliant
free kick from Bati, when Paraguay gets a free kick on the semicircle.
Up comes Chilavert to do his little show, which everybody had made a
ridiculously big deal about before the game. So Chilavert kicks the ball
and it isn't much of a kick, going around the wall, taking a bounce and
going straight to where Burgos is standing. But this is Burgos, so instead
of a typical save we see a goalkeeper that dives towards the post, AWAY
from where the ball is going. If Burgos had stood still, the ball would
have hit him on the stomach, but instead he dove down and from the prone
position could only stab at it with his hand as it went into the net.

After that game, Passarella took him off the squad. But now he has been
teasing us with his presence and in the last couple of games, there we've
had Burgos back in goal. Against Bulgaria he did fine, but now you tell us
that he is back to being the same old Burgos.

It's too bad, really. I saw Burgos recently on some tv show doing some rap
song and he was pretty good. But we cannot take any more of his performances
for the Seleccion.