From: kstokker@risc.uni-linz.ac.at (Karel Stokkermans)
Subject: unabsteigbar (Re: [RESULTS] German Bundesliga round 28 (Tuesday)
Date: 28 Apr, 1993

Andreas Riese writes:
> Juergen Schaepker writes:
> >   VfL Bochum - Bayer Uerdingen 4:1
> What is the english word for 'unabsteigbar'? Unrelegatable?


From: JLB
Subject: WCQ Australia vs. Argentina
Date: November 9, 1993 

yen@cs.monash.edu.au (Timothy David Yen) wrote:
> No Ariel, If you bet 5 banana plantations on Arentina then when australia
> crushes argentina you lose it all!!!

Banana plantations are not very many in Argentina, which is a pity, since
people like you could easily be rated as ideal consumers.

From: mazzarel@phnom-penh.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: New Groups
Date: 24 Nov 1993 

Reposting 38 lines, [name withheld to protect the innocent - SO] wrote:
> This was one of the best articles that I have ever read in this group.
> Congratulations to Dan Mallon-Kraft!!

How about the group rss.I.cannot.use.an.editor.because.I.am.a.clueless.fuck ?

From: mazzarel@beirut.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Dirty tricks (Was: Re: : anti-Maradona/pro GENTILE)
Date: 16 Jan 1994 12:21:10 GMT 

Constantinos Tsioras wrote:
>Since there is really no Greek player that can mark Maradona effectively,
>rumour has it that the Greeks are preparing a devious plan for the upcoming
>World Cup match vs. Argentina. It involves the Greek bench distracting
>Diego by waving little transparent envelopes full of white powder (possibly
>flour or baking soda, you suspicious RSSers).
>Envious Argentinos can bite me... See you in Boston (1-0).

Oh yeah?

Countermeasures are not needed,  but they are surely deserved.

During the game against Greece,  the Argentinian players could display
anatomically descriptive pictures of young boys frolicking on a meadow.
I figure that would make the final score about 12-0.

PD: If scruples get in the way,  they'll just wave little jars of vaseline.

From: mazzarel@durban.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Another nomination
Date: 3 Mar 1994 02:59:07 GMT

Category:  Pointlessness in a match involving national squads

Scoring:  (RSS traffic caused by event)/(Relevance to modern futbol)

Winner:  England-Denmark,  next week,  by a byteslide.

From: mazzarel@beirut.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Who's crying now...  (Was: Re: Greatest Upset of all time???)
Date: 7 Mar 1994 05:13:32 GMT

Three weeks after my post,  Jesper "Grate Dane" (thanks Stig!) Lauridsen replies:

>mazzarel@spam.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli) writes:
>>[It does not matter what I wrote,  as Jesper cannot stick to the subject]
>Yes, it is strange. Some other teams can thrash some arrogant worldbeaters
>wannabes 5-0 in their own capital, and nobody are surprised.

Since English is not your native language,  I won't pick too hard on your
inability to use the words "arrogant",  "worldbeater",  and "wannabe"
correctly.  [The first,  well,  just consider who is using it;  the second,
well,  there is no one worth beating we have not beaten;  the third,  well,
I wannabe you wannabe everybody wannabe in WC '94.]

Frankly,  I think that the saddest thing about this year's world cup is that
some people now cannot listen to the beautiful Concierto de Aranjuez without
reaching for the box of Kleenex.

PS: Don't forget we beat your team too,  Jesper.

From: stigop@lise.unit.no (Stig Oppedal)
Subject: Re: Milan-Sampdoria Result 
Dtae: 14 Mar, 1994
Loris Magnani writes: 
> MILAN   1  -  SAMPDORIA   0 

If AC Milan were a figure skater: 
1.0 	1.0 	1.0 	1.0 	0.0 	1.0 	1.0 	1.0 	1.1 	

From: mazzarel@lhasa.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: Ireland/Italy Ticket
Date: 21 Mar 1994 19:04:28 GMT

Mel Levinson wrote:
>I have one ticket available to the Ireland/ Italy match on June 18 at the
>Meadowlands. This ticket is a part of a hotel package, so hotel for three
>nights is included (actually, required). 
How inconvenient.    

>It's not exactly a bargain, butit's a ticket and I was desparate to see a 
>match. Your half (includes three nights in hotel room with two double beds 
>and the ticket would be $375. The hotel gives us the tickets upon check in. 
>I'd prefer a female, since we have to share a room, but a very well behaved 
>male would be all right. No partiers, please. Serious inquiries only.

Let us know if this works,  Mel.

PS: But be careful.  A familiar trick pulled on unwitting men in Rio is for
one or two beautiful women to walk up to him,  show very direct signs of
affection and walk off with his wallet before he has a chance to say "let's
go back to my hotel".

From: stigop@Lise.Unit.NO (Stig Oppedal)
Subject: Ariel, You're Doomed! (was Re: Galatasary Europe Champions?)
Date: 14 Apr 1994 13:05:01 GMT

Neale Type writes [after Galatasaray's mediocre performance in the 
Champions League]:
 > Where are all the Galatasary fans hiding, come out! come out!
 > >From: atuncer@cs.vu.nl (Tuncer A)
 > >Subject: To the Manchester Fans
 > >Date: Thu, 21 Oct 1993 16:58:25 GMT
 > >
 > >  You shouldn`t be sad about such a score. Because Galatasaray
 > >was the team that played the game. You still have a good excuse
 > >because you are going to be set aside by the favourite of the
 > >EC1.And you will say"We lost against the champions"

I can see the hundreds of posts in 3 months time along these fictional lines:

  Hey, Ariel, remember this? HA HA HA!

   > From: mazzarel@math.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli)
   > Subject: Clueless RSSers (Re: Maradonna Too Fat?)
   > Date: Mon, 24 Jan 16:20:48 -0800
   > Those clueless fucks who dismiss Maradona's futbol genius are going
   > to be reaching for the Kleenex box when He lifts the World Cup in July.
   >                                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  That's one thing he didn't get his hand on!

Ariel, you should ally yourself with some hacker and try to destroy all
the incriminating evidence while you can!

From: mazzarel@beirut.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Date: 18 Apr 1994 22:59:18 GMT

Shaggy  wrote:
> [...]                 [Pts./# of first-place votes]        
> 8. NORWAY              327  (1)
>12. SWITZERLAND         140  (1)
>15. IRELAND              88  (1)
>18. BOLIVIA              27  (1)

I wonder if these four voters will make their identity known.


PS: "Argentinian mob"?  Two Copa Americas,  33 game unbeaten streak,  
appearances in three out of the last four finals.  You may now bite me.

From: mazzarel@beirut.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: World Champions '94 - Rep. of Ireland
Date: 26 Apr 1994 08:39:27 GMT

Dan Howell wrote:
>What makes anyone think Diego Madonna will ever get to US94 anyway? As a
>convicted drugs criminal, he'll not get past Customs, neer mind lacing his
>boots up.

I can certainly understand now why Pele was not known by his full legal name,
given the spelling abilities of some "fans" that can't seem to get eight
letters right.

At any rate,  one of the things that makes me think that He will come to
US '94 is that he is not now,  nor has he ever been,  a member of the
English national team.


PS: RFD: rec.sport.soccer.bitter ?

From: mazzarel@lhasa.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: England, N.Ireland, etc. WHY?
Date: 12 May 1994 12:46:21 GMT

Murray Cole  wrote:
> spessard@uugtedc.gtedc.gte.com (Kirk Spessard) writes:
>> Why does the UK, i.e. England, Wales, Scotland, etc., send so many
>> teams to the World Cup?  It seems to me that if they sent a united
>> team, 
>Now what was that reason again? Perhaps Ariel can remind us .... :-)

Now now...  you are confusing me with someone else that posted extensively
on this issue!

As long as I'm posting on this,  though...  the original poster claimed
that with George Best in the lineup,  England would have demolished the
opposition in 1970.  That is what we refer to as 


It also seems that if these four teams got together,  it would not be as
much fun to beat the united entity.

Let's face it,  it is nice to beat Wales,  Scotland,  Northern Ireland,
in the same way that it is nice to beat any team that you play.  Different
sort of thing when you beat England.  For example,  you might apologize for
knocking a goal in with your hand when you play the former;  you celebrate
and rub it in when it is against the latter.

But really,  the reason why there are four teams instead of one is that when
the world cup rolls around and none of ya have qualified,  you have enough
teams for your own little tournament.

Subject: Poetry Corner [Spoiler?]
Date: June 28 1994
From: Alan Douglas (Alan_Douglas@mindlink.bc.ca)
[WC94: Norway 0, Ireland 0 -> Norway eliminated]

There once a team that was boring,
Whose critics were less than adoring.
Their coach said DEFEND,
Which they did to the end,
And went out from an acute lack of scoring.

Subject: Why do Brits call it 'FOOTIE'?
Date: July 12 1994
From: Alan Douglas (Alan_Douglas@mindlink.bc.ca)

Does anybody else find the term 'footie' distasteful?

Isn't it uncomfortably close to the word 'footsie'?

Every time I come across the word 'footie', I get a mental picture of
Klinsmann and Voeller sitting barefoot on the grass, letting their toes mingle.



OK . . .  I think it's time for my medication now.

From: stigop@Lise.Unit.NO (Stig Oppedal)
Date: 23 Sep 1994 15:40:56 GMT

Ozerk Alpay (oz@daisy.cs.wits.ac.za) writes:
 > Ozerk Alpay (064oz@cosmos.wits.ac.za) wrote:
 > Sorry I meant THERE.

Sadly enough, this is probably going to be the most intelligent comment on the
Galatasaray - Manchester United game.

From: archer@hsi.com (Garry Archer)
Subject: Re: Newcastle joke.
Date: Thu, 10 Nov 1994 16:31:11 GMT
[Note: Derby County, local rivals of 
Nottingham Forest, are nicknamed "the Rams"]

"R.K.Sutton"  writes:
> Stephen Fullerton  says:
> >Interesting tete-a-tete you've had with that Derby fan. Do tree knots 
> >hurt yer winkle more than sheep then?
>I don't know, I've never shagged a sheep.

It's much more natural than boinking trees.

In fact, it's a significant improvement to gettin' yer end away with
a blow-up doll.  I was left with 'orrible blisters on me donger (perhaps
from overuse).

Anyone wanna make me an offer for my ex-girlfriend, "Hot Cherry"?  I'll
give special discounts to Forest and Leicester City supporters, whom, I'm
told, need a new perspective on life.

I promise to clean 'er up before I sell 'er.  Not for Forest and "Foxes"
fans though, not with the discount as well.  Blimey, do they want everything?
Premiership status _and_ clean blow-up dolls?!

Next thing you know they'll be whingeing about black-and-white striped teams.

Oops... too late.

From: archer@hsi.com (Garry Archer)
Subject: Re: Newcastle joke.
Date: Thu, 10 Nov 1994 18:48:05 GMT

Garry Archer writes:
>Anyone wanna make me an offer for my ex-girlfriend, "Hot Cherry"?

SOLD to the first bidder!!!

A Mr. Frank Clark e-mailed me offering me a Colleymore in trade, but
since I didn't want to trade one blow-up doll for another I took his
"two pennies rubbed together" instead.  See, I told you it was a good

Frank says he'll use his own detergent to clean up Miss Cherry and sent
someone named Roy out on an errand to go get some.  Said something to the
effect that he had to keep a leash on that boy.  Oh, perhaps I misread it...
perhaps he wrote 'lease'.  I dunno.

Frank's name sure sounds familiar to me though.  I just can't place it.

From: Stephen Fullerton
Subject: Re: Newcastle joke.
Date: 10 Nov 1994 19:13:35 GMT

Garry Archer wrote:
: Anyone wanna make me an offer for my ex-girlfriend, "Hot Cherry"?

Well I HAVE got a blow up sheep if you want to swap!
Maybe it'll be more natural for yer!!! :-)

(Joking aside, it was a stagnight present, with red lipstick!
 The missus is getting jealous ;-)    )

From: marcelo@hplwein.hpl.hp.com (Marcelo Weinberger)
Subject: Re: Five most overrated players in the world
Date: Sat, 4 Mar 1995 20:06:20 GMT

{list of brilliant South American offensive midfielders (posted by
 Marcelo in response to someone claiming that Valderrama was one of 
 the best South Americans of all times), preceded by clear explanations 
 on the subject, snipped}

Max_D'Ambrosio@Novell.com (Max D'Ambrosio) writes:
> Well on the other hand I do not see Europeans in your list! So who is
> biased ? Or maybe this is a list of South American players ?!
> P.S. By the way start adding Platini', Rivera, Riva, Cruiff,Tardelli, Zoff
> etc. I'll get back to you fore more.
>> Do you really want Dino Zoff in a list of South American offensive
>> midfielders?
>> Why don't you read the postings before making embarrassing remarks?
>> --Marcelo

> I read the posting Marcellino and it did not mention that. Anyway I did
> raise a question!  How about you Marcellino, can you read in the subject
> "Five most overrated players in the world"?

OK, Max, you won. I apologize for my mistake. Indeed, the best 5 South
American offensive midfielders of all time are:
1) Pele
2) Di Stefano
3) Maradona
4) Schiaffino
5) Dino Zoff

Is it OK now? What? You want Dino higher in the list? No way! C'mon, I
worked hard enough to get him this position. Being Italian isn't really
a problem. After all, Di Stefano and Sivori were "best European player
of the year." Relatives leaving in Argentina might help. Otherwise,
if Mengele could get a passport from Paraguay, I'm sure they can do
something about Dino Zoff too. But the problem was with the ball skills.
You have to admit that it was difficult to pass Dino as a magic ball
handler (I mean, with his feet). So be happy I could get him the fifth

Subject: Re: How Good was Rijkaard?
From: gvanmoor@nrao.edu (Gustaaf Van Moorsel)
Date: July 5, 1995

onderwat@gallium.chem.vu.nl (Rob Onderwater) writes:
> Imagine what would happen if all players thought that money
> was less important than atmosphere. PSV would surely be relegated...

Rob, start trembling for the tidal wave of an Austria-based reply :-).

From: awayne@ps.ucl.ac.uk (Andrew Wayne)
Subject: Re: Greatest Players of All Time
Date: Aug 4, 1995


John Aldridge, Ray Houghton, Jim Magilton, Ron Atkinson, Billy Hamilton, 
Andy Thomas, Trevor Hebberd, Dean Saunders, Andy Melville, Matt le Tissier.

Or perhaps more seriously:

1. Pele 2. Cruyff 3. Puskas 4. Di Stefano 5. Platini
6. Beckenbauer 7. Eusebio 8. Zico 9. Garrincha 10. Stan Matthews.

OK, so all this is influenced by my age (youngish), what I've heard from various
reports, petty annoyance at a certain individual (and the fact that more than
one short fat man would be too many), and the fact that I'm English. And that
I've probably forgotten someone obvious. (btw, that's forgotten, not ignored.
Short, fat Argentinians of the '80s have been ignored).

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: Greatest Players of All Time
Date: Aug 5, 1995

Ignored?  He is the only one to whom a whole paragraph was dedicated.

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: A question for rssers@brasil (aka The Post That Had No Followups)
Date: Jan 13, 1996

Could you list the two worst instances where Brasil was cheated by a ref? 
1966 WC, an equal-opportunity scandal, not included.

And for a bonus,

Can you name the worst such instance where the opponent was from South

Official games only please. That's 15 World Cups and over 30 Copas America.

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: More Gold Cup Ineptitude
Date: Jan 23, 1996

kbg00@cas.org (Ken Gilbert) wrote:
>['94 World Cup well run, unlike current latino-organized Gold Cup, eg
> odd kick-off time for Brasil-Mexico dictated by Brasilian TV]

So, extrapolating logically, you preferred the scheduling of noon games in
midsummer weather (WC '94, for Eurotv) to 6 pm winter weather (for Brasil &
Mexico tv). Your idea is adrift in a sea of neurons, searching for the port
called "Sense".

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: the REAL Gold Cup final: USA-Mexico
Date: Jan 24, 1996

gaflores@csulb.edu (George A. Flores) wrote:

>CONCACAF set the "Copa de Oro" to favor Mexico in order to ensure a large 
>Mexican turnout, because if the USA ever mad it to the final, there might 
>only be a couple of thousand, but the game is played on the field, not in 
>the stands.

Well there was this game at the Rose Bowl a couple of years ago...

>Or could it be that Mexico DIDN't want to play the US?

That's right. Mexico was afraid of the US and so they were happy that they
only had to beat Brasil. Don't be surprised if Mexico demands to be put in the
same group with Brasil in the next world cup.

From: gvanmoor@aoc.nrao.edu (Gustaaf Van Moorsel)
Subject: Re: The Art Of (Not) Meeting Shaggy, Mark II
Date: Jan 23, 1996

Ariel Mazzarelli writes:
>Congratulations, Stig. We now know he exists.

Yes. But ... does Stig exist? We'll have to ask Shaggy.

>Perhaps the helpful RSSers could compile a list of stadia that can safely be
>visited by the knowledgeable futbol fan, for whom the word "fuck" is an
>essential tool of emphasis.

Be glad to:

stadium in Holland: any     
description of referee by knowledgeable ff: Hondelul

My Dutch - English dictionnary does not list the latter, so, sorry,
no translation. It is NOT a Romanian football club, though.

From: archer@hsi.com (Garry Archer)
Subject: Re: The Art Of (Not) Meeting Shaggy, Mark II
Date: Jan 24, 1996

Stig Oppedal writes:
>PS - My tabloid headline for yesterday's West Ham - Manchester United
>match would be:

Stig, you've been out in "The Sun" too long! :-) 

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: FIFA national team rankings (info)
Date: Jan 24, 1996

>FIFA rankings for this month (Jan. 24):
>20 Switzerland  51.61

Switzerland out of the top five? Sepp will have a talk with those bartenders,
no doubt.

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: Refereeing Standards in Premier League
Date: Jan 24, 1996

Martin Carroll (martin@toutley.demon.co.uk) wrote:
>>Martin Carroll wrote:
>>>[Why do refs give you yellow cards for kicking shins?]
>Excuse my ignorance Ariel, but you will have to explain why writing the
>above makes me a philistine !!!!

I'm sorry, my schedule is rather hectic this week, I have a series of lectures
on "Cubism: a Pictorial Breakthrough" at L.A. School for the Blind, and on
"Euphonic Woodwind Combinations in Beethoven's Symphonies" at L.A. School for
the Deaf. Maybe someone else can help you out.

From: awayne@ps.ucl.ac.uk (Andrew Wayne)
Subject: Re: Mildly Interesting Soccer Trivia
Date: Feb 20, 1996

LAW5LM2T@leeds.ac.uk (L.M. Tombs) writes:
>Who are the only side to have won the European Cup more times than they 
>have won their national (league) title?

Well, Oxford Utd have won the European Cup as many times as they have won 
their national league. I suppose that puts us equal second, along with 
Grimsby and Torquay (but ahead of Liverpool, Manchester Utd, AC Milan, 
Barcelona, Ajax, Rangers, Celtic, Juventus, Real Madrid and Preston).
I like this game.

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: English fans, you can quote me on this one (was Re: Asprilla-Incredible)
Date: Feb 22, 1996

"Benny.demon.co.uk" (Benny@benman.demon.co.uk) wrote:

>I find it amusing that a player who has hardly kicked a ball all season, got 
>off a plane in the morning, played for 20 odd mins for his new club and made
>a significant impact. What does that say about English football? 

Ok. First off, all that I say is based on

a) what y'all posted
b) what my brother told me (he saw it on the telly)

Thus, although the English defender that had to deal with Asprilla "totally
ate it" [bro's quote, a family expression], there are at MOST 3 leagues in the
world (Argentina, Brasil, Italia) where Asprilla would not be expected to make
an immediate impact (and in Argentina he probably would).

I don't know why I'm being so nice today, maybe I'm just watering the garden
in case Buchanan wins the election and I feel the urge to flee. Where else may
a lover of futbol and the English language go but...

From: cmorris@ccnet.com (Colin Morris)
Subject: Re: Commentry Cliches - your favourites?
Date: Mar 1, 1996

My favourite is the Alan Hansen special:
"He'll be disappointed not to hit the target from there."

Have you noticed how footballers use their own special tense when describing
games? It's a curious mixture of the present and past, and I call it 
'footballers tense'. An example:

"Gary, can you describe your goal for us?" 

"Well Brian, Giggsy's carried it down the left, he's whipped the ball into
the box and I've just got my head to it and it's gone in."

Why do they do that? Do footballers have a strange conception of time,
whereby the match is progressing and yet over *at the same time*?

And another thing. Why do footballers start each sentence  with the word
"obviously"? Is it *really* necessary?

From: cmorris@ccnet.com (Colin Morris)
Subject: Re: Commentry Cliches - your favourites?
Date: Mar 2, 1996

Don't forget:

"They think it's all over, it is now"  - Kenneth Wolstenholme
"It's raining horizontally"            - Ditto

"We'll have more football in a minute, but first we have 
 highlights of the Scottish League Cup final" - Gary Newbon:- my all time 
 favourite Colemanballs. I still can't decide whether it was a slip or a 
 brilliant insult!

"On the night, it's eleven against eleven" - too numerous to mention

"Let's hope that Eric Cantona remembers it's the Tories' job to kick
 people in the teeth" -- Tony Blair

From: cmorris@ccnet.com (Colin Morris)
Subject: Re: It's futbol, not rugby
Date: May 28, 1996

Ariel Mazzarelli wrote:

>paragon of skill, strength and precision, Cobi Jones. On Cobi's shot, what WAS
>that goalkeeper doing? In fact, I hate to say this as it is rather
>insensitive, but that goalkeeper... I mean, I realize you don't have to win
>any beauty contests to play futbol, but in Scotland, must you win ugly

"Jim Leighton - ten assholes in front of him, 10,000 pricks behind him
and not a chance of catching anything" -- from around the time of
Italia '90.

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: Croatia - Profile of the National Team
Date: May 28, 1996

petar.kolakovic@utoronto.ca (Petar Kolakovic) wrote:
>Croatia - Profile of the National Team 

>Soccer in the days before Yugoslavia was splintered by civil conflict 
>and will be remembered for cynical tackling and flashes of brilliance 
>- hence their reputation as the 'Argentina of Europe'.

Try winning something first and maybe that 'reputation' will make it somewhere
outside of your own head.

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: Croatia - Analysis of the National Team
Date: May 28, 1996

petar.kolakovic@utoronto.ca (Petar Kolakovic) wrote:

>"Croatia is the Brazil of European football," insists the national
>team coach, Miroslav Blazevic. 

Wait. Just last post, you were the Argentina of Europe.

I tell you what, here's a compromise: Croatia is the Paraguay of Europe.

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: The golden shower goal rule is busting my balls
Date: June 6, 1996

Deutschland-France, WC '82, would not have happened with this rule.

Italia-Deutschland, WC '70, would not have happened with this rule.

I believe that that is proof enough. Is the UEFA leadership too young to have
seen these games?

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: WC 2002: Another rip-off for Australia?
Date: June 6, 1996

regit@ibm.net (Joel Leano) wrote:
>It's just onother way of FIFA making sure that favorites like Argentina,Germany
>and all the rest of the so called 'soccer powers' are there at the WCup
>and that leaves the other rising countries with little or no chance at all
>to qualify for the World Cup finals. 

If I read this correctly, you are complaining that when FIFA sets up a
qualification spot to be decided between Argentina and Australia, that it is
unfair because it is too easy for the former and too difficult for the latter?

I think the qualification is much too easy for Australia now--beat up on Fiji
and Tahiti, then play the fourth team in Asia? So if I were you, I'd stop
complaining, or else we might find great merit in a qualification scheme
whereby whenever any of the classic 6 is eliminated, they get into a
round-robin with Australia to determine the final spot (i.e. you'd be fighting
the spot with England and Uruguay).

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: England - At last we play our style!!
Date: June 21, 1996

Shaggy (sh393@city.ac.uk) wrote:
>When this suggestion of style originally came up people said that we'd 
>just give the ball away - well, we proved last night that we can pass the 
>ball around as well as any of the continentals. 

One should note that you are referring to that continent a strong swim away
from Dover. You'll need a boat to get to the next level.

btw--what does "originally came up" refer to, 1924?

>The Dutch didn't have a clue what to do and what about the third goal - that 
>is as good as anything you will ever see.


>p.s Ariel, your cheap jibes don't bother me as you should be well aware. 
>Keep them for the newbies and people who are easily wound up.

There are newbies and there are recyclebies. I'm just glad that you remembered
how to click on "NEWS", so I'll be gentle and remind you that the best way to
say "I don't care" is NOT to say "I don't care".

From: mazzare@primenet.com (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Subject: Re: Top 10 Razones Why Argentina will defeat Nigeria
Date: August 15, 1996

Dont@bother.com (Snaps) wrote:
>Particularly when you consider that England (yes England, Ariel!) have 
>won 8 games during this same period - and they only played in three of 
>these tournaments thanks to the ultra-tough qualifying format that the 
>under-represented Europeans must endure - politically correct or not!

I feel your pain. So tell me, if we are to allow a team slightly below, say,
Norway's level to represent the "must-attend" class, are the mere 32 slots in
the WC enough for UEFA?

From: cmorris@ccnet.com (Colin Morris)
Subject: Scum spanked again
Date: Oct 27, 1996
[Southampton 6 Manchester United 3]

So what's the excuse this time. It couldn't have been the shirts. Maybe the 
colour of the rain? Or maybe the colour of the light reflecting off the 
Solent? But looking on the bright side, I guess their fans didn't have as far 
to travel back to London than after last week's spanking at Newcastle.