=======================================================

[After Allnutt's initial post sparked a
spectacular flame war]

From: James Allnutt
Subject: Re: rss stats
Date: 28 October 2001

Our man in Ayrshire wrote:

> -----------------------START SECTION 'SUBJECTS'-----------------------
> 
> Number of posts by Subject (279 subjects during this period)
> TOP 30
> 
> TT  LT  Subject                                     #    PGM    PGB
> --- --- -------                                    ---  ------ ------
> 1   1   Really OT: US Strike on Mullah Omar preve  441  19.35% 21.55%
> 


Jesus, whoever started that thread should be flayed alive.

James



=======================================================
From: Tom Jobes
Subject: Re: The Year in American Soccer: 1959
Date: 29 October 2001 20:59


Wow, now that's the worst net lag I've ever seen!!

Tom


=======================================================
From: Z
Subject: Re: Eastern European XI
Date: 31 October 2001 05:02

Kezman has been likened to the great Milan Galic (maybe by me, 
but still..)

Z


======================================================
From: Ian Motter
Subject: Man Utd
Date: 1 November 2001

The Doctor wrote:
> 
> In article <72ba519.0111010601.5a65c73e@posting.google.com>,
> Ross Campbell  wrote:
> >Man Utd will win the Champions league. Anyone agree?
> 
> ARSENAL!!!!!

And now a public service announcement:

Don't read posts by "The Doctor" while drinking milk.

This message has been brought to you by the Corporation for Nasal Health

Thank you.


====================================================
From: Renaud Dreyer
Subject: Re: Italia '90: Does anyone else remember
Date: 5 November 2001


I try not to. Ciao,

               Renaud Dreyer


====================================================
From: Renaud Dreyer
Subject:Re: Italia '90: Does anyone else remember
Date: 6 November 2001

vancanste@aol.com (VanCanSte) writes:

> i've got every game taped on vhs from Italia90 if anyone is interested.
> VAN

Have you tried contacting a sleep disorder research team?


=====================================================
From: James Allnutt
Subject: [R - SA WCQ] - this is getting out of hand.
Date: 9 November 2001

75' Venezuela 3 - Paraguay 1.

Looks like I might have tickets to Australia vs Brazil 
(fan-********-tastic).

I know Paraguay don't care, but would someone in South America please 
reset reality to the "normal" position.

James

======================================================
From: Dougie McKinnon
Subject: Re: Cheats to be red carded
Date: 8 November 2001

David Tiemroth wrote:

> Why not just tell the referee "These two teams will be playing, now
> pick a winner."?

That's Scottish football summed up in one sentence.

=======================================================
From: John Rose
Subject: Re: Cheats to be red carded
Date: 8 November 2001

Dougie McKinnon wrote:

> David Tiemroth wrote:
>
> > Why not just tell the referee "These two teams will be playing, now
> > pick a winner."?
>
> That's Scottish football summed up in one sentence.

The referees don't actually have to pick a winner, they already know
which teams (plural as there are 2 of them) are to win.....
    John

=========================================================
From: Magnus Homann
Subject: Re: Dog is best eaten in summer (was Re: Blatter to Koreans - Stop Eating the Dogs!)
Date: 12 November 2001

"Victoria Barrett"  writes:

> Although the Seoul government has banned the production and sale of dog meat
> for human consumption, the practice remains widespread and the government
> has instead focused on encouraging more humane slaughtering.

First I read it as "human", but thankfully re-read it immediately,
before I fainted. Freudian?

Homann


==========================================================

From: Faisal Zaman
Subject: Re: World Cup 2002
Date: 15 November 2001

The Doctor wrote:

> Update please.

Germany and Brazil are out !! Germany lost 5-0 at home, and incensed German
fans mobbed Rudi Voller at the end of the game and shaved off his beautiful
declining mullet.

Brazil were leading 1-0 with two minutes to go, then Teddy Sheringham and
Ole Gunnar came back to win it for Venezuela. Angry fans burned down the
Maracana with the players still inside the stadium. Not a pretty sight.

Belgium beat all odds to win past Czech and are now the bookmakers favorite
to win the next world cup based entirely on their ability to be lucky.

Thats about all you missed.


==========================================================

From: pharro
Subject: Re: Uruguay vs Australia
Date: 16 November 2001

Diego Barros"  wrote in message
news:B81B103A.F2B8%diego@heyboyo.com...

> Uruguay arrived in Australia today around 11am on Friday. They play on
> Tuesday at 8pm. Isn't that enough time?
>
>


They say you need a day for every hour of time difference to truly reset
your internal body clock. Of course drugs such as melatonin can help but I
don't know if it's a banned substance. Melatonin is a naturally occurring
enzyme (I think) and can be found in mid stream urine. So the solution for
the Uruguayans could be to drink their own piss! We Australians always do it
before battle.

Paul H


=============================================================

From: Dat
Subject: Re: Uruguay vs Australia
Date: 16 November 2001

On Sat, 17 Nov 2001 00:52:48 +1100, "pharro" 
wrote:

>They say you need a day for every hour of time difference to truly reset
>your internal body clock. Of course drugs such as melatonin can help but I
>don't know if it's a banned substance. Melatonin is a naturally occurring
>enzyme (I think) and can be found in mid stream urine. So the solution for
>the Uruguayans could be to drink their own piss! We Australians always do it
>before battle.

Does Coopers' home brew count?

-- 
Dat

===============================================================

From: Chris Horymski
Subject: Re: PREDICTIONS
Date: 4/12/2001

Sez cujo  
> MY PREDICTIONS
> 
>  1A URU                                                            1B SPA
>  2F SWE                                                            2E IRL
>      \                                                            /
>       \                                                          /
>         URU                                                  SPA
>         BRA                                                  POR
>       /     \                                               /    \
>      /       \                                             /      \
>  1C BRA       \                                           /        1D POR
>  2H RUS        \                                         /         2G CRO
>                 \  URU  ---   (ARG vs. ITL)  ---   POR  /
>                 /  ARG            FINAL            ITL  \
>  1F ARG        /                                         \         1E GER
>  2A FRA       /                                           \        2B PAR
>      \       /               CHAMPION  ITALY               \      /
>       \     /                                               \    /
>         ARG                                                  GER
>         JAP                                                  ITL
>       /                                                          \
>      /                                                            \
>  1H JAP                                                            1G ITL
>  2C C.R.                                                           2D USA
> 
>  cujo


That's the worst ASCII Tie Fighter I've even seen.

=======================================================================

From: Colin
Subject: Re: Conspiracy Theory
Date: 3/01/2001

Obi-Wan wrote:
> 
> I used to enjoy EPL very much. After watching many matches this season,
> I have the feeling that someone behind is controlling the results of EPL
> and it is getting more and more obvious (think about the performance of
> Man Utd, Liverpool and Chelsea). And all these remind me of the final of
> WC 1998. After all, the sport betting business is big.


Believe me - NO-ONE is in control of Chelsea! - I've been a supporter
for donkeys' years & 'control' isn't a word that comes up too often!

========================================================================

From: Jackie Tellier
Subject: Re: Dear Manyoo,
Date: 3/01/2001

[Re: Ryan Giggs]
"Dave Hedgehog"  wrote in message
news:a11dd9$441$1@tilde.csc.ti.com...
: The usual hamstring injury.

oh? so not the usual groin strain then...

========================================================================

From: Paul C
Subject: Dicks out
Date: 05/01/2002

Just my luck to be on the other side of the country from my computer
when it was announced that Julian Dicks had failed a fitness test for
Canvey Island at Burnley this afternoon.

But too good a subject header to pass over.

========================================================================

From: Richard Hicks
Subject: Re: Nice going, soccer. You suck.
Date: 06/01/2002

In article <3c3814d0.487719533@news.prodigy.net>,
 im404sowhatNOSPAM@yahoo.invalid (Tom) wrote:

> On Sun, 06 Jan 2002 03:55:35 -0500, Richard Hicks 

> Soccer sucks and is a tard sport.  Hockey rules.  One cool thing about
> hockey:  When you take a lady (or anyone else new to the sport) to a
> hockey game, it's easy to explain to them.
> 
> Tom
> 

Yeah right. She probably explains it to you.
You're obviously a man of wit and culture.
Explain the offside rule.
Go ahead.

You taking a woman to a hockey game probably involves a length of rope 
and some chloroform.

-Richard

=======================================================================

From: Shove the pig's foot a little further in the fire 
Subject: Re: All internationals up to WC 2002
Date: 10 January 2002 22:14

On Thu, 10 Jan 2002 16:02:30 -0500, "Victoria Barrett"  wrote:


>
>Friendly
>17-Apr
>Leeds
>ENGLAND v T.B.A.

My prediction, 

Eng 1-2 T.B.A

A.N Other scores 2 second half goals. G. Keeper plays a blinder between the posts, 
stops a Beckham peno. Bad news for T.B.A when J. Doe is stretchered off and may miss WC.

MMcC
========================================================================

From: Marcelo Weinberger
Subject: Re: All internationals up to WC 2002
Date: 10 January 2002

Victoria Barrett (vbarrett@the-beach.net) wrote:
: LIST OF ALL PRE-WC FRIENDLIES (PLUS CUPS)
: ******************************************************************

: Friendly
: 13-Feb
: T.B.A.
: MACEDONIA FYR
: v
: KOREA REPUBLIC

: Friendly
: 14-Feb
: Montevideo
: URUGUAY
: v
: KOREA REPUBLIC

This combination is a tough one for the Koreans unless T.B.A. is, say,
Buenos Aires, or they are planning to tour with two different teams...

-- Marcelo

=========================================================================

From: Gabriel Rossetto
Subject: Re: News Round-up 27 November 2001
Date: 29/11/2001

On Wed, 28 Nov 2001, soccer-europe wrote:

> It's a shame more people outside of England didn't see Le Tissier play.


Is he related to Lampinho?

=========================================================================

From: Jim Goloboy 
Subject: Re: Lalas to play on US team?
Date: 11 January 2002 19:15


On Fri, 11 Jan 2002, Victoria Barrett wrote:

> Did anyone else originally read,
>
> "Labas to play on US team?"
>
> and almost faint? :)

I read Lalas just fine and still had a similar reaction.

========================================================================

[In response to a Europhobic post]

From: Chris Horyimski
Newsgroup: rec.sport.soccer
Subject: Re: C - the least European group ever in the WC
Date: 15-01-2002
 
                   10 -   
                    9 -
                    8 -<---------
                    7 -
                    6 -
                    5 -
                    4 -
                    3 -
                    2 -
                    1 -
                    0 -
                __________

Results by TrollometerŪ, another fine Mettler-Toledo product.

========================================================================

From: Paul Mettewie
Subject: Serie A 2001-2002 Season Round 19
Date: 21/01/2002
 
 
"Futbolmetrix"  wrote in message news:...

> Riff, I didn't see the Juve-Inter game, but from all reports I read
> Inter resorted to catenaccio of the worst type, and did not even come
> close to threatening Juve's goal. Most Juve fans were absolutely
> pissed that a team like Inter would come at the Delle Alpi and play
> as if they were Piacenza or Lecce. So yes, you did get your goalless draw,
> but in San Siro it will be a different story...

The WHINE-O-METER (tm) rating for the preceeding 
post is as follows:
                             
                                       *
                                       *  
                                       *
                                       *
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10...1000000...JUVENTINO 

Where, 
        0 = Gandhi 
        1 = mild whimpering
       10 = full-out tantrum 
  1000000 = Inter fans 4/28/1998
Juventino = Moggi & assorted henchmen

As to the meeting in San Siro, I too await it eagerly....

- Riff "Ci vediamo" Ster

========================================================================

From: Victoria Barrett
Subject: Most Evil Teams in the World (was re: The "Other" Team)
Date: 23/01/2002
 
"Zlata Militaru"  wrote in message

> with that said, though, I think I'd honestly rather see Dinamo Bucharest
> in a final than Real Madrid any day.

Which teams would ya'll rank as the most evil? :)

EVIL-O-METRE (TM)

10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0

10 - Most
0 - Chievo

=============================================================================

From: Chris Horymski
Subject: Re: Serie A: Where Are They Now?
Date: 17 January 2002 02:43

Sez Richard Hicks   
> Anyone heard anything about these players lately? Are they still 
> involved in football in some way?
> 
> -Casiraghi
> -Balbo

Still at Roma.  He's putting out a CD.

> -Richard

Never heard of him.

==============================================================================

From: Richard Hicks 
Subject: Re: The "Other" Team
Date: 17 January 2002 10:53

In article ,
 "Victoria Barrett"  wrote:

> Question: Let's say your most bitter rivals (Sporting - Benfica; Arsenal -
> Tottenham; Fenerbahce - Galatasaray; Boca Juniors - River Plate) are in
> contention to win a major foreign tournament.

That would be Real Madrid, of course. Whenever I see 'em come onto the 
pitch I hear the Imperial March from Star Wars in my head. It's not 
helped by the fact that their kit makes 'em look like Stormtroopers.

==============================================================================

From:James 
Subject: Freudian slip?
Date: 21 January 2002 05:03

I've heard a lot of you Septics (I know you just *hate* that term 
Yankees so I'll avoid that in the name of international harmony) like to 
bang on about LA being an away game for your national team, but what are 
ESPN trying to say with their draw for the Gold Cup

Monday, Jan. 21
At Pasadena, Calif.
Guatemala at Mexico, 8 p.m.

===============================================================================

From: steve d 
Subject: Missing Footballer Alert
Date: 22 January 2002 23:08

Manchester Police have today issued a missing person alert for a Mr R van
Nistelrooy.

Last seen in the vicinity of Stephane Henchoz's back pocket, Old Trafford, on
the evening of the 22nd January 2002.

Description: 6ft tall, dark lanky hair, long face.

Also answers to the nicknames Mr Ed and Red Rum.

================================================================================

From: David Tiemroth 
Subject: Re: Canada-Ecuador[R]
Date: 24 January 2002 13:07

On Wed, 23 Jan 2002 14:23:11 -0600, Jim Goloboy 
wrote:

>> Still, I don't understand why the Gold Cup is in the US every time.
>
>The FA Cup final is always held at Wembley.

Is that your final answer?

David.
Your lifelines include "Call A Welshman", "Poll The FA" and "Location
Of The Last FA Cup Final".

================================================================================
From: James 
Subject: Re: Asean U-20's Championships: Vietnam & Laos [R]
Date: 29 January 2002 05:50

Vanilla Bean wrote:

>> Original message
>> (Pham Van Quyen 15, 42, Dang Van Phanh 47, Pham Van Quyen 75)
>>
>>
>> I'm not sure how Pham Van Quyen and Pham Van Quyen are "evidently
>> different '[first] names'"
> 
> 
> No, I didn't mean that ALL the first names were different, just that
> evidently it wasn't a hattrick by the same "Pham dude".  [;)] 
> 
> 


I'm really thinking I'll need a pen and paper to draw this one out for 
you.  I think the question that Luke was asking was

"Are Pham Van Quyen (who scored at 15 minutes and 42 minutes) and Pham 
Van Quyen (who scored at 75 minutes), the same person? Making a 
hat-trick for Pham Van Quyen (or, indeed, Pham Van Quyen) at 15, 42 and 
75 minutes."

I mean, if you got that off the gramatically challenged DailySoccer - 
there's every chance that it really is just one person (called Pham Van 
Quyen, or possibly Pham Van Quyen).

James

================================================================================

From: Marcos Schieda 
Subject: Re: 'Keepers
Date: 06 March 2002 07:33

> Oh yes. I fear for your country's chances, Marcos, if these guys are in goal
> for Argentina. (OH MY GAWD. Did I just say that? Yes, I did and I am not
> comfortable with that :)

Fear, fear a lot... Especially with Rocker Burgos. It's incredible:
when he sings, he's a great goalie; and when he is keeping, he's a
great singer. He's awful, for God's sake.

===========================================================================

From: Renaud Dreyer 
Subject: Re: man, this is soooooo not cool
Date: 09 February 2002 19:04

[Concerning the images used on posters advertising forthcoming French international games]


"MakeDoughnuts"  writes:

> > And for France - Portugal last year, those geniuses came out with a
> > Portuguese... conquistador. Ciao,
> >
> >               Renaud Dreyer
> 
> What did they represent France as?

Les Bleus rarely end up playing themselves, though they used to be
quite proficient at beating themselves. Ciao,

               Renaud

===========================================================================

From: Jesper Lauridsen (rorschak@mail1.stofanet.dk)
Subject: Re: Fowler returns to face the Kop
Date: 03 February 2002 22:37

[Before the Leeds-Liverpool game at Elland Road]

>[I wonder how he'll feel on Sunday?]

If he's facing the Kop, I bet he'll feel a bloody fool.

===========================================================================

From: Renaud Dreyer 
Subject: Re: Newsflashes [11.03.02]
Date: 12 March 2002 05:03

"Victoria Barrett"  writes:

> 8. Owen is out of the Barcelona match. Guess why. Starts with "H".

Heroin, Houiller, Hanelka, Hataluna, Hespana, Hemoglobin,
Homeomorphism? Ciao,

                  Renaud Dreyer

===========================================================================

From: Victoria Barrett (vbarrett@the-beach.net)
Subject: Re: Newsflashes [11.03.02] 
Date: 2002-03-11 20:10:51 PST 

>
> Heroin, Houiller, Hanelka, Hataluna, Hespana, Hemoglobin,
> Homeomorphism? Ciao,

He's hintelligent, houi? :)

===========================================================================

From: Renaud Dreyer (rdreyer@math.berkeley.edu)
Subject: Re: Newsflashes [11.03.02] 
Date: 2002-03-11 20:15:49 PST 

Hust hannoying, hat's hall. Hiao,

             Henaud

===========================================================================

From: Victoria Barrett (vbarrett@the-beach.net)
Subject: Re: Newsflashes [11.03.02] 
Date: 2002-03-11 22:11:35 PST 


Hecce homo.

Victoria "Profumo di donna" Barrett


===========================================================================

From: Renaud Dreyer (rdreyer@math.berkeley.edu)
Subject: Re: Newsflashes [11.03.02] 
Date: 2002-03-11 22:29:00 PST 

Ha Honna He Hobile. Ciao,

           Renaud


===========================================================================

From: Zlata Militaru (zmilitaru@hotmail.com)
Subject: Re: Newsflashes [11.03.02] 
Date: 2002-03-11 23:11:40 PST 

"Renaud Dreyer"  wrote in message
news:874rjm3022.fsf@bourbaki.localdomain...


> Heroin, Houiller, Hanelka, Hataluna, Hespana, Hemoglobin,
> Homeomorphism? Ciao,
> 


Hemophilia?

Hermaphrodites?

Hava Nagila?

Hrvatska?

umm, I guess "Hamstring."

===========================================================================

From: Riffster 
Subject: Re:  Turkey vs. S. Korea report
Date: 27 March 2002 01:05

"Majiin Will"  wrote in message
news:a7qsg1$o7n$1@news.umbc.edu...
> http://www.soccernet.com/global/2001/20020326/reports/45117_full.html
>

>
> Turkish coach Gunes, offered a possible explanation for Turkey's
> dissapointing result:
>
> 'The pitch was in a bad state and that's a handicap for a team like us who
> play a very technical game,' said Turkish coach Senol Gunes. 'The players
> also need time to get used to that new World Cup ball, which spins fast
and
> is difficult to control,' he added.

SPPPROOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIINGGG!!!!

Sssssssssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzttttttt!

Whoa! The Whine-o-meter (tm) blew a circuit or something.....

Gee.....I am going to have to "World Cup-proof" the W-o-m or
something.

Maybe the Department of (Self) Defense will give me a grant?

The next couple of months (not to mention the Cup itself) are going
to be very rough on the delicate and precise mechanism that is
the Whine-o-meter (tm)

Possibly that new logic circuit - the Capello-citor - will make it
more robust when dealing with snivelling, rationalizing managers.

- Riff "Anti-weaufxing rituals commence....oooooohmmmmm...." Ster

===========================================================================

From: Jim Goloboy 
Subject: Re: My Thoughts on Germany-USA Friendly...
Date: 28 March 2002 06:16

On 28 Mar 2002, Lucky Devin wrote:

> Don't know what else to say about this match, we Americans got our asses
> kicked.

That's your naive view. The sophisticated soccer fan realizes that the US
achieved their major objective from this game, which was to return Keller
to form by condensing three months of work into one match :)


===========================================================================

From: El Condor Pasa with Norah Jones 
Subject: Re: USA x MEXICO Friendly [R]
Date: 04 April 2002 04:35

Victoria Barrett wrote:
> Just started on Telemundo:
> 
> 3' USA  0  :  0  Mexico
> 
> Quickie Comment: Listen to this - MEOLA v. CAMPOS! Cobi is captain!
> Caballero called up again! And the Hejduk is playing. :)


1997 called, they want all the players back :)

===========================================================================

From: Marcelo Weinberger (marcelo@fc.hp.com)
Subject: Re: Thanks for the Bordons
Date: 08 February 2002 07:20

Devastator (majiin99@cs.com) wrote:
: Marcelol, give us Uruguay. That way, when they play the World Champions, it
: won't be Zidane, Henry, Pires, Trezeguet, Vieira vs "the grey shirts".

First, I doubt the shirts will be grey, unless something very bad
happens in the laundry. Second, if it's gonna be just the grey shirts,
this probably means you don't follow much Serie A and La Liga...

-- Marcelo

============================================================================

From: Loul (Loul@alussinan.org)
Subject: Re: Referees getting paid
Date: 05 February 2002 13:45

In article , 
JPV6666@hotmail.com says...
> This red card was offered by Gilette, the best the man can get.
> 
> 
Welll in France the referees wear an Ad with the name of "But" (name of 
a supermarket brand, which also means "goal" in French).

But they made clear that they didn't want to wear the motto of that brand 
("le juste prix" which means "the right price")...